Recovery in Real Life: The Halloween Trap
If you’ve ever struggled with an eating disorder (or your relationship to food/treats and body image), it’s NO surprise that Halloween can present a huge challenge and potential pitfall on the road to food freedom and recovery. At it’s best, Halloween represents a holiday that prioritizes time with friends and chosen family, opportunities to gather and make memories together, to try on a new persona with a costume, and flex your creativity, all while having access to drinks and candy that offer a sensual experience of enjoyment and pleasure. At it’s worst, Halloween can make our bodies feel like they are on display for other people’s appraisal and comes with an impossible paradox of expectations, especially for someone struggling with an eating disorder.
On Halloween, you’re supposed to look hot as a “slutty” (read: revealing) version of some costume, but also effortlessly the eat candy that diet culture says will immediately make you gain weight. An eating disorder voice might tell you that if you want to go out in a revealing costume, you shouldn’t eat a big meal, but also you may be expected to drink or do drugs that diminish your tolerance and heighten your impairment in ways you won’t expect. And yet you can’t eat regular meals and snacks if you also plan to eat candy because candy doesn’t fit with eating disorder “rules”… but then you might just end up binging more candy that you would normally eat when no one is looking! I’m exhausted even just remembering Halloween outings in the past when my relationship to food was at it’s worst- my thoughts spiraled around what I can eat and what other people thought of me and my body. Needless to say, we all deserve more from one of fall’s best celebrations. So what do we do about Halloween? How do we protect our peace and enjoy this holiday to the fullest? While I don’t have any quick fixes, I do have suggestions for navigating the Halloween season while being accountable to yourself and your recovery goals.
Costumes
What is it about costumes that trigger outcome-oriented thinking, comparison, and competitiveness for someone with an eating disorder? Have you ever found yourself looking side to side, judging other people’s outfits in an effort to reassure yourself that you look acceptable? Has the pressure to bare more skin that usual impacted your ability to eat throughout the day? When the goal of a Halloween party should be to have fun, why does my eating disorder make me feel like the goal is to be considered hot or desirable? Also, does someone even look desirable if they are constantly picking at a costume, sucking in or manipulating their body’s appearance, and stressing out over candy? No! Also who actually cares what other people think of me? I guess my eating disorder does!
At the end of the day, Halloween should be FUN, and that fun is for YOU and no one else. How can we make costumes process oriented, instead of outcome oriented? What would make a halloween costume fun and enjoyable for you, even if it didn't turn out like you hoped in your head?
If you like crafting and flexing your creativity, DIY a costume from found materials so that you have pride in your outfit!
If comfort is your priority, find a costume that emphasizes soft materials or loose fitting silhouettes. OR (shocker) don’t dress up at all and just wear a fall fit that makes you feel your best!
Take the opportunity to support local goodwill and thrift stores and make an event out of shopping for costume materials with a friend!
Choose to emulate a character that you admire- a courageous and heroic character from a favorite TV series, historical figure that stands for progress or aligns with your values, dress for a favorite activity or game.
“But Emily- I still want others to find me hot/attractive/insert desirable adjective here!” Ok I hear you. But at the end of the day, we are most attracted and drawn to people who comfortable in their own skin and having the most fun. If showing some skin makes you feel confident, go for it! If showing skin will leave you feeling self conscious, you’re putting your self esteem and your worth in the hands of others- something I don’t recommend. Dress in a way that makes you feel empowered to move with confidence, whatever that means FOR YOU!
Candy
Enjoying candy is synonymous with Halloween, so how can you enjoy sweet treats and fall favorites without the guilt and with a flexible approach to nutrition? Eating disorder mindsets love all or nothing thinking- candy is “bad” and full of “empty calories” (not a thing- calories are energy and so there are no such thing as empty calories), if I eat more than one piece of candy, I’ve “blown it” and I guess I should eat the whole bag and start fresh tomorrow, etc etc etc. Recovery is all about both/and thinking and living in the gray areas. Flexible nutrition is all about considering health and wellness in the context of a full life that naturally includes fluctuations in movement and food intake, without the need for perfection. If your nutritional aspirations are contributing to stress and anxiety, they aren’t really very healthy after all.
Remind yourself that our bodies are complex and designed to know what to do with the candy that we’re consuming. Candy is full of energy and our bodies will know what to do with that energy- in fact carbs and fats are some of our body’s preferred short and long-term energy sources!
Make plans to eat lunch and/or dinner with a friend. Having an accountability partner will both ensure that you eat normally throughout the day, while also helping make mealtime more mindful and potentially more enjoyable. Having someone else to show up for encourages us to fuel our body and set ourselves up for success… without letting guilt or fear take control of the mealtime.
Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest! If you’re craving candy, eat candy; no need to substitute. When we deny ourselves the foods we want and enjoy, they take out an outsized significance in our minds. This may lead to binge or secretive eating habits that often result in the same amount of candy consumption, but with an unanticipated side of guilt and shame. Candy is part of normal eating and a healthy relationship to food.
If you ate past the point of comfort, LET IT GO. Try to approach eating like a data scientist. If you ate past the point of comfortable fullness, you have one more data point helping you calibrate to your specific body’s needs. You’re empowering yourself with more knowledge based on this experience and that’s a good thing!
Alcohol and Partying
For many teens and young adults, celebrating Halloween includes a Halloween party or “Halloweekend” events, many of which may involve substance use. For those struggling with restrictive eating disorders, this poses the additional challenge of combining alcohol and other substances and under-eating, which can lead to increased risk of harm. For those who experience binging as part of their eating disorder (especially in a binge-restriction cycle), alcohol can also be a common binge trigger. While I understand that this blog isn’t necessarily going to stop someone from engaging in substance use, I do want to advocate for harm reduction behaviors and share a few helpful tips from an eating disorder perspective.
EAT a meal before or while drinking to slow alcohol absorption. (See the above tips for more on navigating eating regular meals and snacks while incorporating drinking or candy.) When you drink on an empty stomach, the alcohol is absorbed more quickly into your bloodstream. This can lead to a more rapid onset of intoxication and a higher blood alcohol concentration. As a result, you may feel the effects of alcohol more intensely, which can impair your judgment and coordination, increasing the risk of accidents, health issues, and risky behaviors.
Always have a designated driver or utilize ride sharing apps and never drive while impaired or get in the car with a person who has been drinking and is intoxicated.
For folks who are stuck in a binge-restrict cycle, there is often the urge to “prepare” for what feels like the possibility of a binge when drinking is involved, by under eating prior to drinking. In addition the risks outlined above, under eating and restricting primes your brain to hyper focus on food as soon as your inhibitions are lowered by alcohol consumption. While it can seem like we need to increase self control while drinking, we actually need to fuel ourselves appropriately to avoid the urge to binge because we have been depriving ourselves of necessary fuel.
Ultimately, Halloween should be about having fun and celebrating with unique traditions- not about the stress of food and body image. Getting through Halloween may be difficult depending on where you are in your personal journey with food, but regardless, try to remember that you are working towards a future where the food anxiety fades into the background, leaving only the joy of the celebration and connection. However it goes for you this year, a new day will await you on November 1st and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to loved ones or a trusted professional. Wishing you tricks, treats and all good things this fall! Have a fun and safe Halloween!